Friday, July 23, 2010

First...

I have been thinking a lot about firsts lately. I took Doodles to get his haircut a few weeks ago and there was a little girl getting her first haircut. That first tuft of hair that you save. Doodles first haircut was January 25, 2005...he was 14 mos old.

There is a reason why firsts are invading me. My daughter would have been 1 this month (due date 7/28/09). I would have been celebrating her first birthday with her first party. In the past month or so, or maybe the next few, I would have been watching her take those first tentative steps. I would have been taking her for her first haircut. I think, or maybe torture, myself wondering if her first word would have been mama or if she would have been weird like Doodles and said pupa (puppy) first. All of those firsts that I am missing...

I think that I grieve more for her than the babies I lost in Feb 2008 because I saw her. She was just so little...damn it, she just needed time!!!!! Happy birthday baby. I love you - always



Slipped Away...Avril Lavigne

2 comments:

Misses M said...

I'm so sorry. Like I said before, I can't imagine how difficult that must have been, seeing your baby girl like that. Sending hugs your way.

kc said...

thanks sweets. Hugs right back at ya! Don't you worry about me and my stuff, you just concentrate on you!!! That is way more important in my eyes. :)