Saturday, September 18, 2010

True Confessions of the (almost) Grandma Squisher

Things are all quiet in the golden I am not typing this with a pencil in my mouth because well, I tried and HELLO HARD! People that can do that are amazing, if they are doing it out of necessity that are even more amazing. So, nothing new to report - Doodles is being rotten as most 6 year olds have a tendency to be, work is good, travel is consistent and the east coast is what the east coast is but getting colder.

Since I really have nothing to report I have decided that I would answer some of those annoying questions that I get in my email or via Facebook that I have ignored up to this point. I mean seriously if the people that send these to me do not know the answers they probably aren't going to find out via email are they??? Some of those questions are just a little intrusive and annoying....the perfect things to blog about to the whole wide world, but not to family members geez!! LOL

Favorite color? Blue

First Kiss? I was 11 or 12 and his name was Steven. My first and last younger boy/man. (I was an April birthday he was a May) :-) We were on a family vacation to visit friends of my parents in Oklahoma. It was the first time we were all meeting as families. Steven and I thought we were slick...but, I bet out parents, or at least our moms knew we were canoodling when no one was looking. He was cute, summer vacation, what more can one ask for the first kiss?!?!?! Wonder how he is...what he's up to now......not enough to ask, but enough to wonder :)

Worst thing a person has said to end a relationship? hmmmmm....EDITING 10/2 as of this moment I had to pay for the divorce by myself ;)

Dumbest thing someone said to get you to sleep with them? Editing 10/2 -- how about not asking permission at all??? That's pretty darn rude.

Worst childhood memory? Wow, well....almost all of my memories from my childhood are good. So, let me tell you of the only time I can remember being hit by one of my parents. This would be the worst because of how badly my father felt afterward.

I believe I was 17, almost 18 years old. My little sister, mom, dad and I were in the living room watching TV, chatting about this that and the other thing. I don't remember exactly what was said, but I ended up telling my mother that I would never tell her anything about my first time when I finally had it because she had a big mouth and the whole family would find out. My dad got PISSED! He picked me up by the hair and told me I was rude, a brat, blah blah blah (normal dad to smart ass teen things). He slapped me across the face and I fell. I got up and walked up to him and asked in a very cold voice if he would like to hit me again. (HMMMM, anyone want to guess how that turned out?) He punched me and threw me down the hall. Meanwhile (laughing at this memory - it's funny in the time I was to pissed to see the humor, my sister still doesn't get the humor of it I don't know why) my sister is huddled next to my mom crying and begging me not to get up, stay down. {mmmm, hmmm, RIGHT} I got up, glaring, marched up to my dad and just looked at him. He grabbed my hair, told me to apologize. I said NO! She's a gossip and everyone knows it! {you can imagine I said it meek and mildly right????} He balled his fist again and I FLEW down the hall pretty close to the door to my room. Sister screams a little, mom tells me to go to my room, dad storms out of the house, I stand up and storm into my room! (no, unfortunately, the doors in this house didn't kinda sucked.)

My mom brings some ice into my room and asks why I had to make him do that. I rolled my eyes and said I wasn't apologizing. Dad comes home like a half hour later knocks on my bedroom being the princess says enter....he opens asks if I'm ok, says he is sorry and hands me a bag from DQ. I open it, look at him, smile and say nice bribe, love ya now close the door so I can sleep.

Embarrassing Moment? Well now, I do a lot of dumb ass things...lets narrow the scope down to this week shall we........could be tripping over my bag at the airport on Thursday and almost falling on the OLD woman in the wheelchair. I was rescued by NOT tall, dark and handsome but the opposite of that. Yeah, that was pretty bad since the old lady, I don't know how to put this delicately so I will just say it's a good thing Depends is in business!!! Did I mention that she was old, like the woman you would be looking at wondering what the hell she is doing in an airport without assistance from a medical TEAM. Like if this woman was less that 85, I would be amazed and I almost sat on her lap. Short, fat and balding was probably a member of the medical team and I was unaware. {and now I am going to hell for typing all of that out, but I just feel better that whomever comes across this knows I almost squished a nice old lady on Thursday....hide your grandparents, I am a danger to them}

I guess that is enough of me for one sitting...I'm sorry if it was your grandma that I almost squished, but there is a guy out there who saved her, thank goodness!!!!

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