Children...

So, I have a friend who is in the public eye and she does a daily blog as part of her job. This week one of her posts was about marriage and some of the things you can do to help rekindle the spark when life gets in the way. It was very couples therapy weeks 1 thru 3, the only thing missing was write down 5 negatives and 10 positives and share the positives and throw the negatives away. It was all in all a really great post......but I have foot in mouth disease and I being who I am stated my views on marriage as it is in today's society. I took exception to one of the phrases about throwing kids in the mixture and how they have a tendency to take over a marriage. My viewpoint on that is that kids never, ever take over a marriage that was meant to be - children add joy to an already joyful marriage.

Last night I could not sleep because I kept checking on Doodles. {I got a call yes afternoon telling me he had a really high temp. Took him to the doc, he's fine...it's just strep}. So, I wrote the following to my friend because I knew that she would enjoy it and I think it is worth repeating to anyone who thinks that children are ever in the way, are ever a burden on their marriage, are ever a reason to get married, stay married or to get divorced. Our kids are nothing but an added joy to us and we should be doing whatever we need to do to protect them!!! They do not need to think they are ever a reason for anything but the smiles -- and sometimes frustration that are truly due to them.

5 Reasons Children Add/Fulfill…

1. Laughter. There is nothing like the sound of an infants gurgle, a toddlers screech of joy, a teenagers laugh (yea I hear they do on occasion laugh with the family and not at them) that makes a parent stop a realize what an absolute joy they are.
2. Tears. There is nothing in a parents life that makes them feel more helpless than watching their child cry! Whether it is from a boo boo, from that first heartbreak or as they get older and life catches them unaware a parent just wants to make it all better. And when that child comes into a parents arms, at 2 or 20, it reminds them how fragile children really are.
3. Fear. Parents slay the dragons of fear throughout the young lives of a child and as they grow their fears become bigger. From thunderstorms or bugs to how do I get a loan or am I doing the right thing, children tend to always run back to their safety net. It reminds a parent that they are superman for their child.
4. Love. From that first bonding moment that squeezes a parents heart making a person wonder how in the world one human being could feel so much for another. That feeling that you know you will do anything for another human being without question. Unconditional. And through everything as they grow, even as they are screaming ‘I hate you’ with everything in them, a parent knows it’s not true and someday they will return to normalcy (ya know grow out of those teenage years). Love will never go away. It reminds a parent how great their parents are.
5. Leaving. There comes a day in a child’s life when they leave the safety of their childhood home. Go to college, join the military, get married, become an adult…all a parent can do is close their eyes and know they did the best they could do (and then go have a good cry of course). It reminds a parent just how special their child is.

Sweet Cakes...ADVICE FROM GAGA????

(originally posted Tuesday 6/22/2010)

ETA (7/21/10) I liked this post -- it is just so true! when you want something so bad, you really have to think about if the price is worth it...and still can't believe Gaga is giving sage advice. Someday I will wrap my head around that fact.


“Because the sweeter the cake, the more bitter the jelly can be." Lady Gaga said that in a news story I read today. It’s true. Fame can be a blessing and a curse. Money, popularity, pretty much all of the things that people crave have an ugly side that doesn’t show until you obtain that which you thought you wanted oh so badly.

There are people that wanted marriage so badly, once they achieved it they realized it was not happily ever after and love and kisses all the time. Marriage is work. Hard, difficult work. The Bible says that it will be a labor of a lifetime, but one that will bring joy (Ecclesiastes 9:9). If your marriage is not bringing you joy, if your mate is not lifting you up, helping you be the best person that you can be and you are not doing those things for your mate…why are you together? The wedding cake gets stale, and sometimes that is all you have so you joyfully make do…at least in a marriage that was meant.

There are those that need to have money. Money, money, money. But, I don’t know very many who have found happiness because they are always chasing money. Or, there are some who make their families so unhappy because they are always looking for the next big thing. Work hard, but play harder. You only have one shot at this life.

I guess that is one of the lessons I am trying so hard to learn…I only have one chance – shouldn’t I grab it and live it to the fullest? Shouldn’t I do whatever I have to do to forget about the painful and bitter and find something sweet? That quote from Gaga it hit me because it is so true, what I thought was so good and sweet ended up being so bitter and bad.

The Funny and the Sad…

(originally posted Wednesday 6/9/2010)

First the funny…Doodles came home from daycare recently and told me that he needed to talk to me! He was outraged!!! I asked him what was wrong, and he tells me in this super serious voice that “Girly kissed me mommy. She kissed me right there!!!” {pointing to his mouth} And then she told me that we were married! I, being the wonderful parent that I am, did not laugh! Told him that I wasn’t sure he could be married without my permission. He gave me this LOOK…”Mommy, I’m not married to Girly. She broke up with me on the slide because I told her that she can’t kiss me anymore. I only kiss you.”

What in the world are kids these days doing?!?!? Oh my!!!! I am seriously considering locking him in his bedroom until he is 40……….any objections?

Now the sad…Friday was the 2 year anniversary of one of the worst days of my life! June 4th 2008 my 2 best friends died in a car accident. I am proud to announce that I held it all together during work, by flipping that switch and losing myself in my job for most of the day and forgetting the date and then messing around with friends. I found comfort in forgetting, is that wrong? It was not until later that night that I lost it…oh how my heart aches to hear those two bicker. How I would love for them to take control of my life just one more time. How I would love to hear them arguing about the Stanley Cup finals or the upcoming World Cup…so many things that I miss, but mostly I just miss their voices telling me that I am okay.

These 2 were extraordinary men! They were both so full of life, passion, laughter and positivity!!! So, I am going to end this with a few positive things out of a book that meant a lot to us…the first being “Don’t wait for the funeral to forgive or to say how you feel.” The three of us knew exactly how we felt about each other. We knew how deeply loved we were, even when we argued it was one of our unwritten rules to never forget our friendship was never ending. Always, always there was love, respect and kindness. I told you that they passed away in a car accident, they were found with their hands entwined. I personally do not know if one went before the other, all I know is that they both died at the scene of the accident. I think they would have wanted to go together…they walked most of their lives together and I was lucky enough to share in a part of that.

“Acts of love are what will bring peace to your life and to the world”