Leters of Intent: Time Flies

LOI brought to you by Julie

Dear Week,

Where have you gone??? I cannot remember the last time that time has zoomed by in this much of a hurry. So much has happened this week and so much has been left undone. I am not stressing, because of you Week I have spent so much more time with Doodles than I have in the last few months. So thanks. I know I won't see you again, but I will think fondly of you!!!

always,
too bad time can't stand still

Dearest M,

Thank you so much for the birthday present! It is AWESOME!!!! So perfect for me. Give D a great big hug and tell him to give you one. No one could have picked anything better for me. I am so blessed to have you in my life!

love,
k

Dear You,

I am sorry that I stated my feelings to you. They were obviously so wrong, so invalid. What I am not sorry about is apologizing to you when you took my words and misunderstood then to be aimed at you in a way they were not. You see, in my life experience I have learned that saying I am sorry when it is sincere does not make me less of a person. It makes me more.

Apologetically,
me

Letters of Intent: Honesty at any Cost

Brought to you by Julie

Dear R,

In Scripture we are taught when there is division to confront the person who did you wrong, to try and settle the differences, to forgive. If the differences are too big for individuals to settle among themselves, we are taught to seek the help of the church. I have tried to find complete and total forgiveness and it has alluded me. I am trying for peace in my life.

I am seeing a new therapist, a few weeks ago she had me go down a path that made me face things I was had been pushing down. Unwilling to face, unprepared to deal with. My therapist wanted me to face grief, but what surfaced was a whole host of feelings that I did not realize were there...buried. With grief came red, hot hatred. A feeling that I am uncomfortable with, a feeling that has been buried and seething deep inside of me for two years. One that I didn't realize was there; one that may be the wall holding up total forgiveness.

I hate you for not being a friend to me when you said that our friendship was what mattered. I hate you for not stepping up and being the man you are supposed to be. I hate you for putting so much pressure on me to always be there for you while you continually tore me to shreds - intentional or not. I hate you for allowing yourself to become the monster that would abuse children, your children, and a woman, someone you claimed to care about. I hate you for not ever standing up for yourself, and I hate you for taking the trust I had in you as a person and destroying that. I hate you for doing to me what you promised you would never do. I hate you for proclaiming promises mean something and finding out they mean nothing. I hate you for making me feel like something to regret, someone less than human, worthless. I hate you for ruining a really good friendship. I hate you for abandoning me, but mostly for abandoning our child. I hate that I cannot grieve without the thought of you and everything you did to me bubbling to the surface diminishing all else - I blame you for that, I hate you for that.

I have done things wrong and I take responsibility for my part. I allowed myself to lose control. I allowed myself to be used by you. I allowed our friendship to go up in flames. I was not strong enough to stand up to you and force you to step up. I put your feelings before my own, and before our child's. I apologized to your mother, even knowing you would be upset by it -- I am ashamed of that. I should have sent the apology to you to pass on when you were ready. I allowed you to think that I had something to do with things that I had nothing to do with in order to ensure that you hate me...I felt it would create a better home life for you if you could honestly say you hated me, even as I know hate is as un-Christian a feeling as a person can have. I allowed myself to get upset enough to call after opening night when I should not have, it was not a healthy conversation for either of us. You stated I contacted you more than I believe I have...if I did it would have been in error and against the entire reason I changed all of my contact information...changed my entire life -- but that is neither here nor there, you say I did and I am going to take you at your word and apologize. Please believe that I did not mean to. I have a lot of shame because of what I allowed, because of some of the things I did, and for the feelings I harbor......but that is all me - my responsibility to face it. I am letting you know, only so that you realize that I am truly sorry and filled with an immense amount of sorrow for the things I did, I allowed.

I am hoping that by admitting to my feelings...allowing the hatred to run through me that the love I have inside of me will expel it from me. True, complete forgiveness comes from a place of love. I do not want to feel hate for you, frankly I would prefer to get to that loving, forgiving place as soon as possible. I pray for it nightly. I understand that everything will happen in God's time and as He wills it to be. I hope that by settling the division between us, God is pleased enough to see that forgiveness is achieved and He allows you to fade into the recesses of my memory banks.

I have hopes that God is taking the devil's temptation that was put in your path in 2006 and turning it into a healthy, marriage where the two of you serve each other in Christ. I have faith that whereas it may have been temptation and sin that lead to your marriage, God will work to make it right if you and T allow Him to work in your lives. I pray for happiness for you and your family.

"But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires." Gal 5:18-24 (Christian freedom means walking and conducting oneself, by the Holy Spirit's power and leading. The sinful flesh, consumed by self-importance, instinctively looks down on others...At Baptism we were united with Christ, who dies to set us free from sin and the way of the law -- O Holy Spirit, give us daily victories over sin in our personal life and above all the power to love one another. Amen.)


Sincerely,
one who seeks peace

Letters of Intent - Topsy Turvey

Dear A,

You are one of the most self-absorbed f#%^kwits I have ever met. Dealing with you racks up my stupidity points.

Sincerely,
how soon til July



Dear Place of Business,

Once again you have proven yourself to be my place of comfort. The place that raises me up when my personal life drags me down. This time though, you have gone above and beyond the call of duty! A 3% merit increase, a 2% salary increase and a very lucrative bonus?!?!? The monetary is not what has me flabbergasted, it is the words written on the performance evaluation. From the facilities stating that I have become a part of their teams even as I work for the entire group, to you boss-man praising without end and calling me a "valued asset" and looking forward to the next year, to being told I was undervalued and the expectation of greatness from someone who I respect so much at the corporate level. All of the words written are a soothing balm that have even reached beyond the professional to the personal. OH NO, I will not let you down place of business!!!

All my best,
appreciative employee

Dear Hatred,

I acknowledge you. I know you are there and who you are aimed at. I have not fully explored all of the reasons why I hate him so, but I will allow you to run your course. Please hurry, you make me uncomfortable.

Me

Letters of Intent: Theme Song

Letters of Intent Courtesy of Julie

Do you have a theme song? A song that you identify with more than any other...I do, its a song that I identify with. In 2002 I was probably at my loneliest. But, there was something under the surface; aching to break free. I had been fighting so long that part of me felt like there was nothing left to fight for. And then this song.....



Dear Self,

I know how hard it is not to give up. But you have to remember that there is always that voice...

Then from on high, somewhere in the distance There's a voice that calls,
"Remember who you are... if you lose yourself,
Your courage soon will follow,
So be strong tonight... remember who you are"

Yeah, your a soldier now,
Fighting in a battle,
To be free once more.
Yeah, that's worth fighting for

There is so many positive things in your life, that the little battles are worth it. Freeing yourself from isolation and fear is so worth that fight. What others say, that doesn't really matter...you are worth it. You have to remember that.

Sincerely,
learning to love myself

Leters of Intent - the headache version

Dear HR,

When we have a change in our policy that is going to affect prescription medications, it would be appreciated if you could give us a heads up. I know it is not up to you to ensure that we get our medications in a timely fashion, but my attendance is of some importance to you, my boss and me. Thanks for that!!!!

Sincerely,
the girl with the headache

Dearest Insurance Company:

When a doctor calls and gives the prior authorization for a medication, do you think that you can turn that around in a timely manner? These are MEDICATIONS!!! I don't mind spending your money, but I really don't want to waste time in the emergency room.

Sincerely,
member with a headache that is only getting worse

Letters of Intent - What's Going On

Dear A...

Seriously....no, seriously - now that I moved out here at your request you are going to go back on everything you said as you were pretty much forcing my hand???? All I need is the truth...may I remind you that I have no family down here and all of my friends/babysitters lived on the other side of the river - 45 minutes away!!!! But, I am still expected to play the nice girl???? Really?

Signed,
Yeah, we are busy those days too

Dearest Doodles...

You are my heart and soul, but if you continue to stay up until all hours of the night I am going to seriously rethink my punishment scheme. I will not be yelled at by the daycare for getting you there "at the last minute" because you refuse to get up.

love you so much,
The Mommy who is as tired as you are

Hey Daycare!

What's up??? FYI...I pay you. Actually I pay you a lot of money, so hows about you NOT yell at me. And ummmmmm, if you would be ever so kind as to not tell me when to bring my kid in or when not to that would be great. I mean, I do pay for before and after school care which means I can drop him off anytime before 7:30am...yeah, that means 7:29 if I am running that late. I do appreciate you caring so much, really I do! But, let's just not do this whole nit-pick at the mother thing. Thanks so much!!

Sincerely,
The MOTHER