Monday, January 10, 2011

Burden

SIGH.........burden. Six letters, not a big word, not a particularly hard word until you say it out loud. It gets to be an even bigger word when you are asked if you feel as if you are a burden; if you feel as though when you go into therapy you are burdening someone...and because you promised yourself you would be honest you reply in the affirmative.

Words. The tongue is the strongest muscle in the body. Those words take root. If they are words of kindness and love they take root, grow, flower and strengthen a person. When they are words of ugliness those words take root, grow thorny bushes of pain that weaken.

Actions. What a person does backs up those words. Cultivating the garden of a heart, a mind, a soul....friend, spouse, child. Actions help those flowers of love grow and strengthen or they reinforce the growth of vine and thorns.

Burden. Such a hopeless, horrible feeling. Knowing that this is how you have been viewed. Fearing being viewed like this again. Better to have everyone at arms length. Best to have others ask for your assistance and not ask for anything. Keeping the tears and the pain inside.

Strength. Such confidence when defending others. So strong and sure that everyone else is worthy, kind, wonderful...so willing to stand up for them. So unwilling to stand up for yourself for fear of bothering someone.

5 comments:

Rachel said...

Burden is a hard word. I'm sorry if things are rough and I hope that it's clear that you are a gift to others.

M said...

Burden is, I think, a word that is used to freely... you know what I mean? People will say someone or something is a burden when it isn't at all true. And you are NOT a burden. So don't let anyone make you feel otherwise.

kc said...

It is something that, when felt, roots inside so deeply.

Yes, it is thrown around and that is so unkind and thoughtless!!! For a child to feel like that, for a spouse...anyone really is horrific.

This is the reason I turn inward, why I act like a bonehead sometimes, why it is just so hard for me....I swore to myself that I would never bother anyone again, I guess I make sure that happens by staying to myself. Just one more hurdle....I can do it, I wear nikes :)

M said...

I know what you mean. Lately *I* feel like a burden because all of my health issues are draining our HSA account. It's not like the hubby is making me feel like a burden, it's me... because I know we're spending a lot of money on my healthcare... and I feel guilty knowing that I'm going to continue spending our HSA money for quite some time.

ModernMom said...

Oh that is a hard word! I send you strength...