So, I am sure many of you have heard of the crazy weather that blew through the metro-St Louis area on Friday night. Below is footage that Lambert International released from my beloved C-concourse. C concourse is where American Airlines flys in and out of...I know awhile back I broke up with them, but we have reconciled and I have been pretty faithful. (What??? they have the best security line and concourse in STL). Anyway, my trip last week was a no go, so I was not walking through my favorite landmark in all of my metro-area (yeah, that is sad that I love the airport best, but whatev). I would have been there at the time the storms hit, but instead I was home with Doodles....
Pretty scary stuff huh??? Things at home were not so bad...the other storm system weakened as it got closer and this one headed to the airport, I guess it had a flight to catch (bad humor). So, where I should have gotten hit by 2 I just had really strong winds and a bad thunderstorm.
Saturday morning Doodles gets up in a hurry to go to the Easter Egg hunt at church. I couldn't help but ask if he really wanted to go since it was raining (again) and he was so scared the night before. His answer, "Mommy, that was yesterday! Today is brand new." What a wonderful way to make me really see what the Bible is talking about...Matthew 18:2-4 says "And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Bad things happen, we all sin against each other and against God, but if we remember that was yesterday and today is brand new maybe it would be easier to see the beauty in the world around us. It kinda makes that whole forgiveness thing come into focus...it was yesterday. I wonder how I can work on seeing the world through those child eyes again.
So, because there is no fear of yesterday we got up, went to help get things ready for the Easter Egg hunt and Doodles collected eggs. Then we helped clean up and color the eggs for Easter Breakfast. Sunday....well we didn't make it to Easter breakfast at church :) We found the eggs that EB hid, got cleaned up, went to Sunday School and 10:30 Service. Then mommy took a nap.......
Now we are headed into the last 26 days of school! Vacation this way -->
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
Monday, April 25, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Safe in God's Love
I have had a conversation with a friend about pain/suffering and God. She posted this quote, "You must choose character over comfort in order to experience true joy." This got me thinking that maybe people viewed pain as character. It was a thought provoking statement. Then others said things that pointed towards blaming God for pain and suffering in their lives. I cannot tell you how much that BOTHERS me! Why believe in a God who causes you pain? Who wants to believe in someone like that? God so loved the world he gave his only begotten son (John 3:16). God loves us! All of us, He does not want to cause us pain and suffering. It is people who cause pain. It is mankind that are to blame for the suffering, not God!
I have had a lot of pain in my life, I have suffered; I shared some of it on this blog, but that pain is not God's fault. My pain was caused by my sin or the sins of others. I shared this with my friend - I do not think God ALLOWS me to suffer....I never blame God for my suffering. I think that He does take those things that happen and uses them to as proof that HIS plan works and that with Him all good things can come....and if He can use the stuff the I (yes I) cause then wow, yes use me. How could I ever ask for forgiveness of my sins if I thought God was to blame for the things that I go through....that I cause??? I couldn't because I would be too busy saying I am going through this because of God. That is not how it happens - I am the cause of my sin which is the cause of my pain and suffering. God is the reason I am forgiven and the reason that I am able to get through -- He gives me the strength I need and ensures I know He is there.
I think those that blame God need to take a second look and really wonder how they can ask for forgiveness - if its not their fault what do they need to be forgiven for???? They need to realize that God is not to blame and is not the cause of their suffering and pain. Sins of the world, people cause pain.
I think that by sharing my story with others God is allowing that pain and suffering to be used to show how His love and redemptive plan can work in a person's life. If I can make it through all of the things that I have shared with faith, love, forgiveness and the knowledge that God has never forsaken me that may help someone out there realize just how great God's will is. Maybe they will see that they too can be safe in God's love...
Safe, Natalie Grant
I have had a lot of pain in my life, I have suffered; I shared some of it on this blog, but that pain is not God's fault. My pain was caused by my sin or the sins of others. I shared this with my friend - I do not think God ALLOWS me to suffer....I never blame God for my suffering. I think that He does take those things that happen and uses them to as proof that HIS plan works and that with Him all good things can come....and if He can use the stuff the I (yes I) cause then wow, yes use me. How could I ever ask for forgiveness of my sins if I thought God was to blame for the things that I go through....that I cause??? I couldn't because I would be too busy saying I am going through this because of God. That is not how it happens - I am the cause of my sin which is the cause of my pain and suffering. God is the reason I am forgiven and the reason that I am able to get through -- He gives me the strength I need and ensures I know He is there.
I think those that blame God need to take a second look and really wonder how they can ask for forgiveness - if its not their fault what do they need to be forgiven for???? They need to realize that God is not to blame and is not the cause of their suffering and pain. Sins of the world, people cause pain.
I think that by sharing my story with others God is allowing that pain and suffering to be used to show how His love and redemptive plan can work in a person's life. If I can make it through all of the things that I have shared with faith, love, forgiveness and the knowledge that God has never forsaken me that may help someone out there realize just how great God's will is. Maybe they will see that they too can be safe in God's love...
Safe, Natalie Grant
Monday, January 24, 2011
Weekends
It has been a really long weekend. Have I ever confessed to you all how much I really do not like the weekend? And now that I do not go into the office on Mondays, eeeeccchhhhh is all I have to say. Why does Tuesday take so long to get here?
I wrote my paper on Saturday in an hour and a half. It is 4 pages and I am pretty confident that it does not completely suck. Why am I confident, because I wrote about my job. Is that cheating? Well, I don't care! I love my job...I feel so good about myself when I put on those work clothes and that badge that gives me an identity. And ya know what, I had my review last week......reinforces that I ROCK! Where else in my life does anyone else depend on me and actually lets me know that I cannot leave them because they would be at a loss. Now, because I am nothing if not a realist, I know that it is a corporation and they would be just fine....but its nice to know that they think they would miss me and my abilities :)
I went to church yesterday and I tried very hard to push back that anxiety. Ya know what doesn't help? The Bible Study we are doing. Currently we are doing a Bible Study on Marriage...it is great that my Church is doing that, and the study itself is actually very good. But some of the people in that study are completely and ridiculously judgmental and it is TOTALLY non-Christian like. Why would anyone open up and tell some of those people they are having issues in their marriage??? So they can be judged? No, that is not our jobs as human beings. Our purpose is to be kind, loving and spread the word of forgiveness. I look around and I wonder how many of them are putting on a show, how many of them are being emotionally murdered but won't say anything, how many of them are close to spiritual suicide...and I wonder if possibly a kind, understanding word from someone would help make sure that those things do not happen, or stop happening to that person(s). It is a good Bible Study, and one I will stick out until the end...I hope that people are hearing themselves and hearing what the Pastor is saying and learning not just about marriage but acceptance.
Well, I am pretty close to done with homework...I have some things that can be done from home. (maybe I am a workaholic, I can deal with that there are worse things in life). Therapy is in a few hours...hmmmm
I wrote my paper on Saturday in an hour and a half. It is 4 pages and I am pretty confident that it does not completely suck. Why am I confident, because I wrote about my job. Is that cheating? Well, I don't care! I love my job...I feel so good about myself when I put on those work clothes and that badge that gives me an identity. And ya know what, I had my review last week......reinforces that I ROCK! Where else in my life does anyone else depend on me and actually lets me know that I cannot leave them because they would be at a loss. Now, because I am nothing if not a realist, I know that it is a corporation and they would be just fine....but its nice to know that they think they would miss me and my abilities :)
I went to church yesterday and I tried very hard to push back that anxiety. Ya know what doesn't help? The Bible Study we are doing. Currently we are doing a Bible Study on Marriage...it is great that my Church is doing that, and the study itself is actually very good. But some of the people in that study are completely and ridiculously judgmental and it is TOTALLY non-Christian like. Why would anyone open up and tell some of those people they are having issues in their marriage??? So they can be judged? No, that is not our jobs as human beings. Our purpose is to be kind, loving and spread the word of forgiveness. I look around and I wonder how many of them are putting on a show, how many of them are being emotionally murdered but won't say anything, how many of them are close to spiritual suicide...and I wonder if possibly a kind, understanding word from someone would help make sure that those things do not happen, or stop happening to that person(s). It is a good Bible Study, and one I will stick out until the end...I hope that people are hearing themselves and hearing what the Pastor is saying and learning not just about marriage but acceptance.
Well, I am pretty close to done with homework...I have some things that can be done from home. (maybe I am a workaholic, I can deal with that there are worse things in life). Therapy is in a few hours...hmmmm
Monday, January 17, 2011
Situation, Thoughts, Feelings, Belief
I had therapy today and we did an exercise that sorta blew my mind. I mean, I know that I have deep feelings about situations and I know that there is stuff going on in there....but I did not realize it was just as out of whack as it is.
I am such a mess!!!!!
So, B (the therapist) got out a piece of paper and put headers on it. Situation. Thoughts. Feelings. We went through a situation that makes me uncomfortable and really looked at it...I have issues! Oh, I already told you that...
The situation -- Church (yeah, you read that right. Going to church is not easy for me). I described what happens after dropping Doodles off at Sunday School...I took B through it step by step. From walking down the hallway to sitting in Bible Study.
The thoughts -- 1- (walking to class) if I keep my head down no one will talk to me; 2- (arriving into the class) if I sit in the back of the class and start reading my Bible maybe no one will approach me; 3- (when someone approaches me) if I open to them it is just one more person who I will let down, just one more person who ends up disappointing me, if I have any sort of interaction with this person I will just be a burden; 4- (sitting next to the door) I will be able to escape as soon as possible; 5- put a smile on and no one will look any closer
The feelings -- anxious (1,2,4,5), dread (2,3,5) , fear (2, 3,5), sad (1,3,5)
The next step is to put a Header up that says Belief. Thinking about what may be a good thing to tell myself when those hard thoughts take over. We tried to do this in the session, but I couldn't come up with anything...I couldn't come up with a positive thought to tell myself while I am having all of this stuff going on. Ya wanna know what I was thinking looking at that paper...what kind of person is sad at church? What kind of person looks for the escape route? THOSE questions that flew through my brain are just more of the negative that I heap upon myself.
So, I have a new tool that B wants me to put into use when I am going into a situation that makes me feel uncomfortable. I think it is a good thing. I understand how it can help a person really get in touch with their feelings over certain situations. I have a better understanding of all of that tension and all of those emotions that I feel about church. I think if I can understand, maybe I can go places and not feel all stressed out and anxious about where I am going and who I may see.
Beyond that, we talked about trust and walls...it was overall a good appointment. The good news is that I no longer feel stagnant; I feel as if I am moving forward, slowly maybe but still moving.
I am such a mess!!!!!
So, B (the therapist) got out a piece of paper and put headers on it. Situation. Thoughts. Feelings. We went through a situation that makes me uncomfortable and really looked at it...I have issues! Oh, I already told you that...
The situation -- Church (yeah, you read that right. Going to church is not easy for me). I described what happens after dropping Doodles off at Sunday School...I took B through it step by step. From walking down the hallway to sitting in Bible Study.
The thoughts -- 1- (walking to class) if I keep my head down no one will talk to me; 2- (arriving into the class) if I sit in the back of the class and start reading my Bible maybe no one will approach me; 3- (when someone approaches me) if I open to them it is just one more person who I will let down, just one more person who ends up disappointing me, if I have any sort of interaction with this person I will just be a burden; 4- (sitting next to the door) I will be able to escape as soon as possible; 5- put a smile on and no one will look any closer
The feelings -- anxious (1,2,4,5), dread (2,3,5) , fear (2, 3,5), sad (1,3,5)
The next step is to put a Header up that says Belief. Thinking about what may be a good thing to tell myself when those hard thoughts take over. We tried to do this in the session, but I couldn't come up with anything...I couldn't come up with a positive thought to tell myself while I am having all of this stuff going on. Ya wanna know what I was thinking looking at that paper...what kind of person is sad at church? What kind of person looks for the escape route? THOSE questions that flew through my brain are just more of the negative that I heap upon myself.
So, I have a new tool that B wants me to put into use when I am going into a situation that makes me feel uncomfortable. I think it is a good thing. I understand how it can help a person really get in touch with their feelings over certain situations. I have a better understanding of all of that tension and all of those emotions that I feel about church. I think if I can understand, maybe I can go places and not feel all stressed out and anxious about where I am going and who I may see.
Beyond that, we talked about trust and walls...it was overall a good appointment. The good news is that I no longer feel stagnant; I feel as if I am moving forward, slowly maybe but still moving.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)