Moving Forward

We must all move forward in our lives or get run over by those to inconsiderate to watch where they are going. I am honest enough to tell you I do not want to...I just want to sit and wait for my judgment day to come. But I am also realistic enough to understand that if I stay stagnant it not only affects me but my child. Knowing this I took steps in the last week to take a few tentative steps forward.

First, I started therapy with a new therapist at a local Seminary. I like that we start and end with a prayer. It makes me feel very good that I bring my Christianity into my therapy. Like this time I really may get the mind and spirit in tune together. The things that have happened in my life have harmed me mentally, emotionally and physically...but have strengthened me spiritually. I am hoping that this route will give me strength and heal me mentally and emotionally. Ask and ye shall receive, knock and the door will open, seek and ye shall find.

Second, I proactively went out of my way to break my isolation. I went to lunch with a friend after church. I am proactively seeking someone to hang out with, to go places, to talk to that is older than six. Not that I mind talking to my six year old...but an adult conversation may just be in order sometimes.

Lastly, I have started taking a few minutes every morning when I wake up to mediate in a way. I take a few deep breathes, force a smile, and think about the blessings in my life...I have so many. I do think until the smile is no longer forced but a natural, soft smile. Today was a good day, even with the dentist and A.

Now to vent about the bad parts of the day...bad being a relative term, they didn't take the smile from my face...

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate the dentist?? Well, I do!!!! I have dentist stories that are True Story Tuesday (Rachel's blog) worthy. So, I had to go today to get my left side cleaned...yeah one side at a time, I get the deep periodontal cleaning. And, I got 2 minute cavities filled. As much as I hate the dentist, I cannot stand for them to tell me that I have even a spot developing...FILL IT, DRILL IT AND FILL IT!!!! Yes, I am that freak. You all have heard that freak in the dentist office and yes it is me. :) I hate when my mouth is numb, it drives me insane!!!! UGH....I have to go back next week and get my right side done.

Then after work it is scout night...A picked Doodles up and I went to go get invitations for his birthday party. I was in Target and in walked Doodles and A, apparently they needed a glue gun for some project. A hands it to me and asks me to pay for it. WTH??? How did I get stuck with buying a glue gun? And where is that glue gun?????? Not that I like to repeat myself overly much, but UGH!!! That man is unbelievable some times.

Now to leave you with something positive, because it was a good day...apparently I won something. I know, What??? I won first prize in the Scout Raffle. $300 Best Buy Gift Card. Woo Hoo. Doodles birthday present........

Redundancy, BLUCH

Someone I trust contacted me regarding the going ons in regards to my blogging. She told me that she had been keeping track of things and was so proud of the progress that I was making. She asked me what happened...I explained and she told me that once again my emotions were being used against me, once again I was manipulated and I allowed it. She told me that she wanted me to really think about the conversation and reflect on it. She wanted me to contact her to discuss it further.

I talked to her about it and told her how angry I was about things. Only a therapist is pleased when someone tells them that you are angry. I told her that I was going to blog again, I wasn't sure exactly what I was going to say...the backstory was not there any longer. She wants me to add it again. She thinks I should repost - she told me that being able to look back and see the progress I have made just by purging it out it healthy. I don't have them all. She told me she grabbed some of them and would email them to me. Before deleting some of them I saved the ones that really spoke to me. So, in the next few days I will populate this blog with what I can from what I have deleted.

I detest being redundant. :)