Need

As children our needs are basic; a place to play, food, drink, clothes, love and mommy/daddy to kiss the boo boos. Our needs expand and change as we get older.

Need is such a complicated emotion for me. It is so hard for me to admit my need. I have heard from a young age that I was strong, that I could handle whatever was thrown at me. Needing another person was something that has been pushed aside. I was a teenager when I learned not to lean on others. I was 3o before I finally felt that gut-wrenching feeling of needing another human being. I am almost positive that I never told that person that I needed friendship, needed to not be a burden, needed to not feel worthless, needed that person to just be there. It may not have changed a thing, but the thing about holding feelings in is the 'what if' that makes a person wonder.

Robert Henri said "Cherish your own emotions and never undervalue them". I am so guilty of undervaluing my own emotions, and believing that no one wants to know what is in my heart. People want to believe the facade. It is so much easier to look at me, and believe that I am living the dream. That I have very few, if any, problems. It is a much more simplistic outlook to take the book and just read the cover; what's inside the book may be complicated and messy. Maybe if I learn how to embrace and cherish my own emotions it would be easier to share them with others.

I guess, until then I will live with the what ifs in my life.